The Adventures of Mark, my good friend from Athens, GA and his beautiful Blond wife, Michelle

January, 2020

This is a story from years ago when Michelle worked at Boston Hospital one winter.  As a trucker stopped at a red light, Michelle caught up to him in her car. She jumped out of her car, ran up to his truck, and knocked on the door. The trucker lowered the window, and she said "Hi, my name is Michelle and you're losing some of your load."

 

The trucker ignored her and proceeded down the street. When the truck stopped for another red light, Michelle caught up again. She again jumped out of her car, ran up and knocked on the door. Again, the trucker lowered the window. As if they'd never spoken, Michelle said brightly, "Hi my name is Michelle, and you are losing some of your load!"

 

Shaking his head, the trucker ignored her again and continued down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happened again. All out of breath, Michelle got out of her car, ran up and knocked on the truck door. The trucker lowered the window. Again she said "Hi, my name is Michelle, and you are losing some of your load!"

 

When the light turned green the trucker revved up and raced to the next light. When he stopped this time, he hurriedly got out of the truck, and ran back to Michelle’s car. He knocked on her window, and as she lowered it, he said "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's Winter in Massachusetts and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

December, 2019

Mark bought Michelle a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.  After hearing about this extravagant gift, Rex said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."  "She did," Mark replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

November, 2019

Mark went to see his supervisor in the front office.

“Boss,” he said, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re short-handed,” the boss replied. “I can’t give you the day off.”

“Thanks, boss,” said Mark, “I knew I could count on you!”

October, 2019

This was back when Mark first started his own firm, he rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there one morning, he saw a man come into the outer office. Hoping to look like a hot shot, Mark picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working on a big, important business deal.  He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”  The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”

September, 2019

- In a trial in Athens, GA, the prosecuting attorney called his first witness, Michelle.  Now Michelle was a witness to the crime and is known in Athens as being a straight shooter.  The prosecutor approached Michelle and asked, “Mrs. Mitchell, do you know me?” Michelle responded, “Why yes I do know you since you were a little boy, and frankly you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.
The prosecutor was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Mitchell, do you know the defense attorney?”
Michelle replied, “Why yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.  He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”  The defense attorney nearly died.
Just then the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice said:  “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.”

August, 2019

Always self conscious about his lack of ears, whenever Bob would interview a future employee, he would ask him: "What do you notice that's different about me?” If the employee would mention his lack of ears (which often they did), it would be a for sure “no” for the job. However, if the employee would mention something else, he would hire the guy. One year, at the holiday business party, Bob approached his most recent hire, Mark, and asked him if he remembered the last question he had asked him when interviewing him for the job. “Sure I do,” Mark replied. “You asked me what was different about you and I said that you were wearing contact lenses.”  “Of all things to answer,” Bob questioned curiously, “why was that the thing you noticed?”  Mark responded, “Well, to be honest, it was quite simple. How could you possibly be wearing glasses if you don’t have any ears!” 

July 2019

When Mark was young and had first started working for his dad, he went to him one day and said; “Dad, my paycheck is $100 less than my salary."  Sam told him back: "I know. But last month, when you were overpaid $100, by mistake, you didn’t complain!"  Mark: "Well, I don’t mind an occasional mistake, dad, but it seems to be becoming a habit, now!"

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